Welcome

I hope that new mourners and those who have experienced the loss of a loved one, regardless of how much time has passed, will find comfort, support, and validation in the pages of Three Times a Mourner.

Where To Buy

About Three Times a Mourner

Fredricka R. Maister calls herself “a lifelong mourner.”

At twelve, she lost her father suddenly—and coped by not coping. Twenty-five years later, the brutal murder of her longtime partner shattered the emotional barriers she had built. Then came the slow decline of her mother, whose final years were spent in a nursing home.

Each loss brought its own kind of grief, shaped by the relationship, the circumstances, and the stage of life in which it occurred. In Three Times a Mourner, Maister, a seasoned essayist, reflects on these deeply personal experiences. With honesty and grace, she explores how grief evolves over time and how writing became part of her healing.

This is not a how-to guide or a set of steps for getting over loss. It’s a moving collection of essays about mourning, memory, and resilience—offering insight and connection to anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one.

Whether you’re grieving now or living with a sorrow from long ago, Three Times a Mourner is a companion through the difficult terrain of loss—and a reminder that healing, though never simple, is always possible.

About the Author

Fredricka R. Maister is a Philadelphia-based writer whose personal essays and articles explore the full spectrum of human experience—from the mundane to the offbeat, the shocking to the life-changing. Her work has appeared in a range of publications, including The Baltimore Sun, Philadelphia Inquirer, Chicago Tribune, New York Jewish Week/The Times of Israel, Jewish Exponent, HuffPost, Broad Street Review, The Writer, Brevity Blog, and The Manifest Station, among others. Three Times a Mourner: Personal Essays on Grief and Healing is her first book.

Connect With Three Times a Mourner

What People Are Saying

In Three Times a Mourner, Fredricka Maister crafts an original, spare, and fierce work about her losses, some familiar and one shocking. None of us survives without sorrow, but with the pain of each blow, Maister steers the reader through her journey of survival with strength, grace, and even moments of humor. Maister’s story of exploration and healing is a masterful reflection for anyone and everyone dealing with grief.

Patty Dann

Author of Mermaids and The Butterfly Hours: Transforming Memories into Memoir

This book of essays shares honestly and vividly how different kinds of losses can upend our lives. Fredricka Maister gives hope to others navigating prolonged and complicated grief that it’s never too late to find a way to healing—your way.

Kathryn Kaplan, PhD

Certified thanatologist, grief support specialist, and author of Dying with His Eyes Wide Open: A Memoir of Love and Grief

In her moving and self-revelatory collection of essays, Three Times a Mourner, Fredricka Maister grabs grief and puts it in a chokehold, holding it still enough so that we’re able to see it up close and personal. Writing eloquently and candidly about her struggle with the early, tragic death of her father, the devastating murder of her longtime partner, and finally the passing of her mother, Maister shares her cautionary tale of how and how not to grieve the loss of those close to us.

Charles Salzberg

Author of over 40 non-fiction and fiction books, including the Henry Swann Mystery series

“Three Times a Mourner is a gift—unflinchingly honest, courageous, and intimate, opening the way for readers to access their own pain. It reveals the damaging, though perhaps well-intentioned, shielding of Maister as a child confronted with the sudden death of her father, the first of her three significant losses. And it poignantly underscores the lesson of how critical it is to grieve our deep losses, openly and frequently, as they resurface again and again.”

Michael Miller

Former Director, Pediatric Outpatient Psychological Services, National Jewish Health, Denver, CO

More About Me

Let me introduce myself. My name is Fredricka R. Maister. Most people, especially those I’ve known for years, call me “Ricki,” the nickname bestowed on me at birth. “Fredricka” is also acceptable, if you prefer.

I am delighted to welcome you to my website which features my forthcoming book, Three Times a Mourner: Personal Essays on Grief and Healing, as well as a selection of published stand-alone essays from my writing archive.

A freelance writer for decades, I have written screenplays, poetry, short stories, non-fiction articles, and personal essays. For someone like me who always has an opinion or an unusual happening in my life that I feel I must share with the world, the personal essay is the genre where I feel most at home and have experienced the most success as a writer.

A fun fact (I think it’s “fun”) is that unlike many writers I know who consider social media a necessary evil to promote their work, I pride myself on and love having a presence on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads (@fredrickamaister). These social platforms are where I find my people–a community of writers and non-writers, new acquaintances and old friends with whom I can easily engage. They are my escape from the craziness in the world–although I admit it can sometimes get pretty crazy online. Please feel free to visit me on these platforms anyway.

Originally a Jersey girl who lived most of her adult life in New York City, I am now based in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection.

I hold a bachelor’s degree from Douglass College (Rutgers University) with a major in Art History and a minor…you probably guessed it…in English. I’ve traveled extensively, even living in Israel for almost two years when I was in my early ‘20s. After my adventures abroad, I moved to Manhattan on a whim because at that point in time I was a lost soul who didn’t have a life trajectory in mind.

That “whim” lasted for over forty years during which I worked at jobs in the most interesting and illustrious of places. I started my work career in publishing at W. W. Norton & Company and Harper & Row, that is, before I went rogue and preferred part-time, less lucrative non-publishing employment to give me the time and space to devote to writing. One of my part-time gigs was at The New York Times where I spent twenty years in the Classified Advertising Department helping the public write real estate, help wanted, business opportunity ads, and obituaries for their loved ones. I later worked for twelve years in the Guggenheim Museum of Art Retail Store where I was lucky enough to interact with art lovers from all over the globe and finally put my art history degree to use as I found myself surrounded by great modern/contemporary art in an iconic building designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

Six years ago, when New York City’s steep rent hikes sent me packing, I moved to Philadelphia. Philly may not be as “sexy” or “hip” as the Big Apple, but it’s offered me a quieter, less stressful lifestyle.

Judging from this bio, one would think that from all outward appearances, I have lived a charmed, carefree life. That has not been the case. Missing from this rosy picture is the sad and sobering reality that I have spent most of my years mourning the deaths of three prominent figures in my life: my father, longtime partner, Richard, and my mother. That’s why I have always considered myself “a lifetime mourner” and ultimately felt compelled to write this book of personal essays about my journey through multiple loss and grief.