Three Times A Mourner: Personal Essays on Grief and Healing by Fredricka R. Maister is a memoir examining how loss shaped Maister’s understanding of family, memory, and identity through the deaths of her father, boyfriend, and mother. In Fifty Years Without a Dad, she looks at her father’s sudden death when she was 12, and the isolation she suffered due to her family’s avoidance of the topic. Surviving Homicide, Parts I and II, covers the shock of her boyfriend Richard’s murder and ensuing police investigation and court case, culminating in an unexpected legal outcome. She recounts her boyfriend’s murder, the criminal investigation, and her role in the legal process. Storied Stuff: Mom’s Pillow begins with a velvet pillow once gifted to her mother, their strained relationship, and a late acknowledgment of what transpired.
Fredricka R. Maister’s Three Times A Mourner is a really moving and thoughtful collection of essays, and she does a beautiful job of sharing her three major losses with honesty and compassion. Her writing style has a natural grace to it, even when she is talking about extraordinarily difficult events, and it is easy to connect with the author and her stories as a result. Between the parts, I like that Maister injects some of her broader thoughts on death as a whole. In Deaths Come in Threes, Maister distinguishes between natural and violent losses and describes what helped her the most in processing her grief. Reaching Out for Help details a shift from self-reliance to seeking support, using the power of community and shared understanding. Overall, this is a wonderful read. Very highly recommended.